Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Lady Lump...

Nearly three months ago I found a lump in my left breast. I waited a month to see if it would change or go away, and no change and it didn't. Waited another month, it hurt and concerned me so I called my doctor. I went in to see her after waiting weeks to get an appointment. She was pretty sketched out about it, so she sent me to St. Mark's for an ultrasound.

I don't know if many of you know how much distain I have for ultrasound techs. I do, a lot of it, distain. Not all techs, but mostly the ones I have come in contact with. Some think they are doctors and they try to tell you what their opinion is while you are in a very vulnerable state. Again this was the case with this particular tech. She was very condescending, and didn't want to bother the Radiologist with my results. He wasn't that interested in giving them to me either. I had to wait and wait and wait, because my doctor was once again out of town.

She called and said that yes, there is something there but it was small and just looked like dense weird tissue. She thought I needed to see a breast surgeon to get a second opinion on it. That is what I did today. The receptionist at the surgeon's office was very nice. She called me Sweety and complimented me on my cute ass kids, of course. Joaquin was full on Harry Potter today, complete with English accent. Dr. Naylor came in and examined me. He was also very nice and very knowledgeable. He said that he definitely felt it and had some concerns but was calm about it. He gave me two options, one to have surgery and just take it out, or two to wait three months and see if it changes.

In the months since I have discovered it, it hasn't changed. So...I have decided to wait the three months and see. I couldn't bare to have surgery right now with everything that is going on in my life. The fact that it hurts is a good thing. If it is still there in three months I might just get it removed anyway. I am taking vitamin E and have lowered my caffeine intake, so I will see if that helps it disappear. I am glad that Dr. Naylor was calm about it. I know that it would be extremely hard for me to fight a serious disease like cancer at this particular point in time. Usually my personality is far to feisty to be taken down by a stupid lump, maybe in three months I can take charge of it. Now I need to let it ease away and do my best to take care of myself gently. So...if you find it in your heart to think of me, think of my little lady lump and tell it to just fuck right off, because really, do I need this right now? No, I don't.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ahhh! That scares me! Don't mess with that too much.

Jess

Bella said...

good lord, vanessa! i obviously need to send more good vibes your way! i am tripling the dose! good for you to get a second opinion. i would probably wait too.....that gives us all more opportunities to send you some love and to get that lady lump out of there!

Hope said...

I wonder (I hope) if it's fibrocystic breast disease. I developed that earlier this year. It's painful, but pretty much harmless, which was a relief to hear. The lumps are always there (it affects both of my breasts) but they are more painful and noticable during my cycle. It's great that you're paying attention to your body and that you have such a great doctor. I'll be thinking about you and hoping for the best.

Mandy said...

Yeah lady lump...... Get the HELL outta there!!!!!

Bastard, anyway.

LOVE YOU!!!!!!!

Ramanda said...

I so badly wish that I could do something to take care of you and ease your fears and frustrations. You already have so much on your plate, you definitely do not need this. You are in my prayers and thoughts and if there is anything that I can do please just let me know because I love you like life!

Robin Conner said...

I've been playing blog catch up since I've been out of it for a few weeks. It was fun to read about Elodie's new wheelchair. I'll be excited to see pics of it! She'll be zooming around in no time! :) The lump thing is SCARY!!!! Keep us posted about that too. Not good. I'll be sending the "go away lump vibe" your way! Good luck! You are one strong cookie!

Wonderland Pearls & Purses said...

vanessa, i just love you. i'm thinking of you and keep us posted!

prayers,
ali

Cadie said...

Dear Vanessa's Lady Lump,
This is your only and final notice to evacuate the premises. Please pack it up and do not ever come back. Due to your scariness you will not have 30 days notice; rather, you are expected to leave as soon as possible. Do not leave anything behind. If any trace of you tries to hide out in Knessie's body, it will be destroyed without question. If you do not leave, you will be forcibly removed. Consider yourself warned!!!
Sincerely,
Cadie, the lady lump hater

Cadie said...

P.S. PLEASE! I beg of you, can you post a video of Quiner as the boy wizard - I've got to witness that English accent for myself! Thank you.